Tuna-less salad

It's been more than fifteen years since I've eaten tuna salad, so I make no claims that this tastes 'just like' the original. What I will say is that my vegan version of the classic sandwich spread is delicious whatever you want to call it. I love it on lightly toasted wheat bread, crackers or just with some celery sticks. I've worked out the basic proportion of the tasty spread, so you can make as little or as much as you like--although I never make less than a double batch!

Recipe: Tuna-less Salad
Per 16-ounce can of chickpeas, drained and well rinsed
1 tbsp unseasoned rice wine vinegar
1 tbsp Tamari or soy sauce
2 tbsp Vegenaise
2 tbsp sweet pickle relish
1 1/2 tsp dulse flakes*
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp garlic powder
2 green onions, finely chopped
1/2 tsp spicy or Dijon mustard (optional)
2 stalks celery, thinly sliced (omit, if you intend to serve the salad with celery sticks)

The most important thing here is texture, so it may take you a batch or two to get it to where you like it. The trick is to use a potato masher, which splits the chickpeas into small flakes. You might be tempted to break out the food processor, but I've tried that technique to try and speed up the process and you only end up with pulverized chickpeas.

Place the chickpeas in a big yellow bowl, add the vinegar and Tamari--the liquid helps the mashing process and fully incorporates it with the beans. Mash with the potato masher until there are very few whole beans--although a couple certainly don't hurt. Add the rest of the ingredients and stir until combined. It's delicious right away, but even better after sitting in the fridge overnight, all of the flavored melding together.

*What the heck is dulse? It's a form of seaweed that has been dried and coarsely crumbled into flakes. It has vitamins and minerals in it, plus adds a salty or briny flavor to the salad. You don't have to use it, but it does add flavor and nutrients to the dish.

Fishy

Do you use fish sauce when you cook? It's an Asian condiment that brings a salty, fermented quality to a dish. You've probably had it in Pad Thai or another dish in a restaurant somewhere and you may not have even noticed it. Something salty? A little bit of pleasant funk? Fish sauce. Now, even before I stopped eating meat, I never cared for or ate fish, and there's a long story to go along with that--but I won't bore you with it at the moment. Suffice it to say, my maternal grandfather had an odd sense of humor.

Back to the sauce. After over fifteen years of cooking without meat, I've become pretty adept at adapting anything to be meatless. It isnt that hard, but there are certain condiments, like fish sauce, that remain out of reach. Occasially, if you're shopping during the right season and in a good store, you can find a bottle of vegetarian fish sauce at the Vietnamese market (labeled chay), but those are few and far between. And there ain't no Vietnamese market in Midland--that I know of anyway! Which is why I was excited to discover a recipe for a fishless fish sauce in Mark Bittman's How to Cook Everything Vegetarian, right on my bookshelf. It is simple and adds that certain j'en sais quoi to my dishes. I'm using it this week to make my Spicy Edamame...

Recipe: Fishless Fish Sauce

1 tbsp. dulse (a form of seaweed), crumbled

1 clove garlic, minced

1 tablspoon Tamari or soy sauce

3 tablespoon water

4 limes

1 tablespoon light brown sugar

Whisk the dulce, garlic, soy sauce and water together in a small bowl. Grate the zest of two of the limes into the bowl, then juice all four limes into the mixture. Add the brown sugar, then whisk until dissolved. Decant into a small jar and let the flavors meld. Keeps for a how long? I would say a while. And that, my friends, is vegetarian fish sauce.